You can now submit screencaps!

Yes, you can now submit your midwifery madness in the form of a screencap (screen capture, or print-screen). This is handy for capturing the madness on facebook and forums (that are often deleted once someone realises just how mad they really sound).

Just click on the Submit link and select “Submit a Photo” (if you want to submit text, select “Submit a Quote”).

The usual rules apply. 

  • If possible, include a URL where we can see the quote in action. 
  • Attribute the quote to a person (with their role, e.g. “midwife”, “childbirth educator”) or some contextual info e.g. “lay midwife to a mom with gestational diabetes”.
  • Screenshots *may* be edited to blank out the names and faces of the innocent (you can guarantee speedy publication by doing this bit yourself!)
  • All submissions are private and your email address is not stored on Tumblr.
Happy capping!

Elizabeth McKeown, Author of the terribly egocentric In Search of the Perfect Birth
Elizabeth, not content with quietly enjoying her own journey into madness and unassisted childbirth, compels others to follow her by posting ridiculous nonsense on her vanity facebook page. 
The little bit of WTF I want you to note is the phrase “Heavy green meconium” followed by “(normal birth)”. Its been said before, but here goes HEAVY GREEN MECONIUM IS A PRETTY BIG SIGN THAT SHIT AIN’T NORMAL NOMORE. 

Elizabeth McKeown, Author of the terribly egocentric In Search of the Perfect Birth

Elizabeth, not content with quietly enjoying her own journey into madness and unassisted childbirth, compels others to follow her by posting ridiculous nonsense on her vanity facebook page. 

The little bit of WTF I want you to note is the phrase “Heavy green meconium” followed by “(normal birth)”. Its been said before, but here goes HEAVY GREEN MECONIUM IS A PRETTY BIG SIGN THAT SHIT AIN’T NORMAL NOMORE. 

Midwives should … know when to transport if birth becomes medical.  

Carla Hartley, lay midwife, on midwifery education, responding to us quoting her here.

I can’t go past the comment supplied by Mrs K here: “that would be as soon as labour started”.

Midwives should have an in-depth comprehensive education…

Carla Hartley, lay midwife, on midwifery education, responding to us quoting her here.

Yes Carla yes! Midwives SHOULD have a comprehensive education. And yet as a rule they do not have a comprehensive education. In the original quote, Carla was saying midwives don’t need to know “algebra, composition, chemistry, pharmacology”. So, which is it - comprehensive or selective and exclusive of basic science? Certainly midwifery education doesn’t include basic logic.

He just wanted to be born in a hospital, after all, you did have an OB for the first twenty weeks.

Lay midwife says to a new mom, just out of recovery from an emergency c-section, who almost lost her baby after said midwife did not transfer at the first sign of an emergency.

Sounds like a classic ‘blame the victim’ but with a twist of magical thinking and fetus mind reading. Midwifery GOLD.

(Submitted by E)

Preterm labor would probably still be called a miscarriage if it weren’t for modern medicine.

Christy, a blogging SAHM who is passionate about breastfeeding, cloth diapers and natural childbirth. She blogs and facebooks as Pure!otherhood, and she knows whats best. Oh, what qualifications!

It’s interesting how modern medicine is again to blame for premature fetal demise. In the good ole days we’d have just called it a miscarriage and got along with things. But geez Louise, today all them fancy doctors are getting up and calling it ‘premature labour’ and thinking they can do something to save the baby. Well darn.

The baby’s position wasn’t the problem, the problem was that the baby’s head became stuck. — Karen Carr, convicted of felonies for this baby’s death and prohibited from practicing in VA
Ok, relax. Wait for the next contraction before you push again.

My CPM, who had just cut the tight nuchal cord of my baby, whose head was currently hanging out of my body. Thankfully, at least I understood that every second I waited for the next contraction was a second that my kid was not receiving oxygen. I proceeded to completely ignore her and bulleted him out of my body with every ounce of strength I had left.

(Submitted by H)

You are a sick person who is responsible to the desstruction of freedom and human rights in this world. Hopefully you way of thinking makes its way out of our species soon. — Birth-junkie mom on a mommy community tells a mom who was forced to endure a natural birth of a breech including an emergency external version, forceps, and vacuum assistance by doctors who “knew better” than her.  You’d think a birth junkie would jump all over asshole doctors purporting to know better and abusing a patient.  But, no, this mom got the correct birth and she should damn well appreciate it.
My birthrape with my first child is traumatic. My stillbirth was not. — Janet Fraser, free birther, on the death of her daughter during an unassisted homebirth.